Okay, the dream happened again.
Correction, the nightmare happened again. If it wasn't a nightmare before, it sure as hell is now.
This time BigBoi did kiss me. It felt good, and so did he. Then we proceeded to make passionate sex on that bed. Then, after he had finished, he rolled over onto his back, and I roll ontop of him. I smile playfully, and purr. He growls, and I am confused by it.
Then he bites my neck.
Not Playfully. It hurt. It bled.
Yeah, BigBoi was a vampire. And he was drinking me dry.
I shake and I struggle, and then I cease all movement, and the color fades from my lifeless hand (which is all I can see at this point. The rest is obscured by BigBoi)
Alrighty, so. My nightmare is getting worse. Should I come out and tell him?
I think I should. It will help this situation, I think. I came to that conclusion when I had a long talk with Li'l Christ (another BFFL) She tried to help me analyze this, but in the end, maybe this is just telling me that I need to open up about my feelings, or I'll get punished.
I don't know. But I'll deal with this tomorrow.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A Twisted dream
Alrighty, I'll start this off with a question: Is it really terrible to have a dream of sleeping with your best guy friend?
Beau, don't answer that, love.
So, I was sleeping, and dreaming something bizarre. In the dream, I was lying on this huge bed. I mean like huge HUGE double king size bed. Like, "I spent about $200 per night to get this hotel room" big. I'm wearing this little robe, thing. it's skimpy, purple with black stripes, of course. I wake up, and I don't know how I got there at all, and I'm looking around. I'm obviously freaking out too. "Why am I in a strange expensive hotel/motel suite?"
I discover my body aches all over. Especially my ass. *coughcough*
So I look towards the other side of the room. Standing in the doorway, is my best male friend, who shall hereby be known as BigBoi (thank you Anemone). He's Partially naked, except for the top part of a matching robe. except his is green with black stripes. He's a bit "portly", so it doesn't stretch down very far. He's got no underwear on.
At first I'm like, "O_O OMFG!!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!?!?!?! Where are we, and why are we naked..." then I piece 2 and 2 together... and I can't believe myself. Then, he climbs into the bed with me, and puts an arm around me, and I'm like, "EH?! wh-what're you doing?" He doesn't answer, and leans in to kiss me...
And then, of course, my alarm rings. I wake up in a cold sweat, yadda yadda yadda.
Well, one thing is for damn sure. I don't love him. He's my best friend, and he's always there for me... but I don't like him like that... And besides, he's a pompous ass most of the time, and a control nazi, and likes to think he's always right. But is that something I secretly long for in the bedroom? and does this dream simply mean that, "Hey, I wanna meet him between the sheets in a place where no one else can know about it?"
Thank god he doesn't read this blog. He's straight. so this would be WAY awkward.
Beau... I hope you aren't angered by this...
Beau, don't answer that, love.
So, I was sleeping, and dreaming something bizarre. In the dream, I was lying on this huge bed. I mean like huge HUGE double king size bed. Like, "I spent about $200 per night to get this hotel room" big. I'm wearing this little robe, thing. it's skimpy, purple with black stripes, of course. I wake up, and I don't know how I got there at all, and I'm looking around. I'm obviously freaking out too. "Why am I in a strange expensive hotel/motel suite?"
I discover my body aches all over. Especially my ass. *coughcough*
So I look towards the other side of the room. Standing in the doorway, is my best male friend, who shall hereby be known as BigBoi (thank you Anemone). He's Partially naked, except for the top part of a matching robe. except his is green with black stripes. He's a bit "portly", so it doesn't stretch down very far. He's got no underwear on.
At first I'm like, "O_O OMFG!!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!?!?!?! Where are we, and why are we naked..." then I piece 2 and 2 together... and I can't believe myself. Then, he climbs into the bed with me, and puts an arm around me, and I'm like, "EH?! wh-what're you doing?" He doesn't answer, and leans in to kiss me...
And then, of course, my alarm rings. I wake up in a cold sweat, yadda yadda yadda.
Well, one thing is for damn sure. I don't love him. He's my best friend, and he's always there for me... but I don't like him like that... And besides, he's a pompous ass most of the time, and a control nazi, and likes to think he's always right. But is that something I secretly long for in the bedroom? and does this dream simply mean that, "Hey, I wanna meet him between the sheets in a place where no one else can know about it?"
Thank god he doesn't read this blog. He's straight. so this would be WAY awkward.
Beau... I hope you aren't angered by this...
Monday, February 25, 2008
I'm back. Back from hell, with Bridget Jones.
Okay, so I'm back. I spent a while with my uncle.
Actually, I feel this trip was nothing more than an attempt to make me want to kill myself. AND make me sick. But guess what? I love myself, despite that.
Because I'm good like that.
Oh, and about me and Beau: Better than ever. ^^ The previous situation has not happened yet, but will be dealt with in the fullness of time...
However... Anemone... I think we need to talk. And catch up. I mean, I think I'm missing something. Something gooooood. :3
-hugs- Well, hmmm. I love you all, because I can.
Actually, I feel this trip was nothing more than an attempt to make me want to kill myself. AND make me sick. But guess what? I love myself, despite that.
Because I'm good like that.
Oh, and about me and Beau: Better than ever. ^^ The previous situation has not happened yet, but will be dealt with in the fullness of time...
However... Anemone... I think we need to talk. And catch up. I mean, I think I'm missing something. Something gooooood. :3
-hugs- Well, hmmm. I love you all, because I can.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
BEAUtiful Disasters
Heh. So I went to college. And I came back.
Can't wait to get back to Lesley University. Even if I did have to sleep on the floor of mouse-infested White Hall.
I'm worried. Like, more than usual. About a week and a half ago, My fiancee Beau approached me with a favor/question. IT went something like this.
Beau: So, I have this friend.
Me: Yeah?
Beau: His name's Peter. He's tall, long black hair, parents from Crete.
Me: Yes?
Beau: He doesn't know whether or not he's Bisexual.
Me:...uh-huh...
Beau: Can I help him find out?
And stupid me, I said "Sure, why not? Anything to help out a buddy."
I've been a trainwreck since then. Fuckin' moron, I am.
I'm not so much worried about this guy at all... But I'm worried that Beau will either wind up with an admirer or he'll lose interest in me. As much as he claims he won't, Sex has a way of changing the minds of men. (Anemone, haven't we discussed this before?) And so, everytime I'm not with Beau, I think, "It's happening... oh god, they're having sex. Right now." And I start thinking what's the worst that could happen.
Bitch.
I am wondering if I can take this... Beau and I are going to different colleges, in 2 different countries. He's supposedly coming with me to my house for Christmas.... providing the Sex doesn't fuck things up.
Wow... that Pun was terrible.
Wait... does this mean I can pick some random person, and fuck them? I could do it.... but will I? Prolly not... But I dunno yet.
Beau and I... I love Beau more than words can describe. If anything happened to him and I (him or I works too), I dunno what I would do.
We shall see... I'm going to Virginia to visit my Uncle and my Grandmother tonight. So, au revior, mes amis.
Oh, and a Special Note:
Anemone, you are NOT a bad person. And you are NOT creepy. you are adorable, and an angel. I see it, and I'm sure LilMan does too. As does everyone else around you.
An additional special note:
I NEED A NEW KEYBOARD. (electronic piano)
Can't wait to get back to Lesley University. Even if I did have to sleep on the floor of mouse-infested White Hall.
I'm worried. Like, more than usual. About a week and a half ago, My fiancee Beau approached me with a favor/question. IT went something like this.
Beau: So, I have this friend.
Me: Yeah?
Beau: His name's Peter. He's tall, long black hair, parents from Crete.
Me: Yes?
Beau: He doesn't know whether or not he's Bisexual.
Me:...uh-huh...
Beau: Can I help him find out?
And stupid me, I said "Sure, why not? Anything to help out a buddy."
I've been a trainwreck since then. Fuckin' moron, I am.
I'm not so much worried about this guy at all... But I'm worried that Beau will either wind up with an admirer or he'll lose interest in me. As much as he claims he won't, Sex has a way of changing the minds of men. (Anemone, haven't we discussed this before?) And so, everytime I'm not with Beau, I think, "It's happening... oh god, they're having sex. Right now." And I start thinking what's the worst that could happen.
Bitch.
I am wondering if I can take this... Beau and I are going to different colleges, in 2 different countries. He's supposedly coming with me to my house for Christmas.... providing the Sex doesn't fuck things up.
Wow... that Pun was terrible.
Wait... does this mean I can pick some random person, and fuck them? I could do it.... but will I? Prolly not... But I dunno yet.
Beau and I... I love Beau more than words can describe. If anything happened to him and I (him or I works too), I dunno what I would do.
We shall see... I'm going to Virginia to visit my Uncle and my Grandmother tonight. So, au revior, mes amis.
Oh, and a Special Note:
Anemone, you are NOT a bad person. And you are NOT creepy. you are adorable, and an angel. I see it, and I'm sure LilMan does too. As does everyone else around you.
An additional special note:
I NEED A NEW KEYBOARD. (electronic piano)
Sunday, February 17, 2008
First Post: For the love of hell.
So. My life is very rarely interesting.... but I'm having some fun moments. Well, I'll start at the top.
My best friend for life, who shall be called Anemone for all of these blogs, is crushing on someone who will be called Li'lMan. But she's sooo confused because he looks like he's 10. He's not 10. He's 15. Will be 16 soon. x3 But she feels uneasy by it, so I'm trying to help her not get freaked out too much. And I know Li'lMan likes Anemone. A LOT. It's clear.
Anyway, now I'm working on finding my own man. I'm going to a college overnight, and maybe there will be a guy there. Ya know, it's in Boston, so you can imagine how guess gay men there will be. Hopefully many, but I'm not too sure. I'm gonna spend quite a few hours primping myself up. Hmmm, I think this might be fun, but I dunno.
I'm in love with someone, who will be called Beau. No, that is not his name... but eh. I'm engaged to him, but we're waiting till college is over. Hmmm. I'm thinking life is gonna work out.
Much love!
<3 Vladmyr
My best friend for life, who shall be called Anemone for all of these blogs, is crushing on someone who will be called Li'lMan. But she's sooo confused because he looks like he's 10. He's not 10. He's 15. Will be 16 soon. x3 But she feels uneasy by it, so I'm trying to help her not get freaked out too much. And I know Li'lMan likes Anemone. A LOT. It's clear.
Anyway, now I'm working on finding my own man. I'm going to a college overnight, and maybe there will be a guy there. Ya know, it's in Boston, so you can imagine how guess gay men there will be. Hopefully many, but I'm not too sure. I'm gonna spend quite a few hours primping myself up. Hmmm, I think this might be fun, but I dunno.
I'm in love with someone, who will be called Beau. No, that is not his name... but eh. I'm engaged to him, but we're waiting till college is over. Hmmm. I'm thinking life is gonna work out.
Much love!
<3 Vladmyr
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